The fleeting dove

The End, Finally

2006-10-16T02:49:00.000+08:00

It has come, FINALLY. Living out a dream, never quite sunk into reality, delusional and lost, where am I to go from here, down the road less travelled?

2006-10-01T21:22:00.000+08:00

My life will begin in 2 months. I am ready, are you?

Se7en

2006-09-26T03:03:00.000+08:00

Witness the fall, the destruction. Oh your weary soul will be put at rest, soon, soon he is coming to claim his prize. Try and try you may, nothing stands in his way. The tidal wave.

Bitter memories of the smiles we left behind
Shattered dreams and blind thoughts
I knew not the end will be so sudden
I foresaw not the death of love.

And claim his prize he did, for a force as mighty will never fail. He rules, till the last passage of written time, he goes his way. You will never know the next move he makes, like the changing wind, he comes and he goes.

A choice we made in unity
The pain we feel alone.
I took your happiness
You claimed my being.

At the end, we find a new beginning
And as we see fit, the cycle repeats.
But fear you must for he, and he alone
Will come, like the daunting night.

Greed and lust, wrath and envy. They have come. A legion of seven, to destroy us all.

VII

2006-09-22T16:33:00.000+08:00

It is as such, I feel the end looming. Nothing can stand in the way of the basic principle that governs life, that which goes up must invariably come down. Endings are always painful, however, without end, without closure, life cannot move forward, we will all stagnate. The pain is as always, a necessary lesson. To paraphrase Nietzsche, that which does not kill me only makes me stronger. The choice presented is simple, do we allow something to kill us, or do we empower it to become our teacher, etching in our minds lesson after lesson, paving way for the greater comprehension of life and living? So, my friends, a simple answer to a simple question?

THE END OF

2006-09-03T02:08:00.000+08:00

It has been a long hiatus from the melodrama, the depression and angst. Once again the weight of studies has driven me to the keyboard, something that, in its periodic tapping, the soft depression the keys make when your fingers search upon them, alleviates my sorrows.

I keep on fearing, keep on falling. Nothing comes to my mind, the thoughts ebb in and out, sometimes like a warm breeze, sometimes, a whirling hurricane. The sinusoidal emotions, it plagues me like a disease, I cannot walk a straight line, I cannot fight a head on battle.

TO ALL WHO FACE THE IMPENDING DOOM OF THE A LEVELS, THE APOCALYPSE, THE TIDAL WAVE OF DEATH, THE BRINGER OF IMPOTENCE, THE GRANTER OF SORROWS, THE CHILD OF EVIL, THE SEED OF PAIN, THE ANTI-LOVE, THE GRIM SHADOW, THE DARKNESS, THE FLEETING HOPE, THE OMINOUS CLOUD, THE OVERHANING BLIGHT, THE FORTHCOMING MISTAKE, THE WEEPING EYES, THE HOT TEARS, THE CONSUMING WRETCHEDNESS, THE FORSAKEN MELANCHOLY, THE DISCONSOLATE HEART, THE MOURNFUL PARENTS, THE BURDENSOME GUILT, THE NEVER CEASING PANGS OF MISERY, THE PERPETUAL RIFT, THE INCESSANT HEARTACHE, THE UNABATING CALAMITY, THE ENDLESS SELF-REPROACH, THE ETERNAL UNEASINESS, THE EXPIRATION OF HOPE, THE FATAL WOUND, THE FINAL BREATH, THE LAST STEP, THE INCOMPLETE RESOLUTION, THE PERFECTED INPERFECTION, THE EXCUTION OF FELICITY, THE UNFULFILLED GOAL, THE UNSTATED WANT, THE BEGRUDGING TEACHER, THE JAUNDICED SOUL, THE ESTRANGED FRIENDS, THE AGHAST FATHER, THE VANQUISHED DREAMS, THE REVELLING RIVAL, THE LOSS OF LIFE.

Good luck my friends, time, as always is fleeting. Make the best of your day, for we are what we make ourselves to be, trust in God, trust in yourself, and trust no one else.

The Education Line

2006-08-07T05:35:00.000+08:00

Penned, A Journey.
The wilderness, the unknown stared straight in my face.
A heart, a beating heart, held hopes as high as the sky.
Yet A journey planned for all, is not a journey planned at all.
For behind a choice there is a person, and behind a person, a reason.
To say that, to hope that, the journey must be made, is unthinkable!
It reduces men to hollow shells, for this choice is made without reason.
My friends, whatever road we travel is never wrong, no matter how short or long.
Just remember this I say, the reason always maketh the man.

Nos Tell Ghic

2006-08-04T04:10:00.000+08:00

Lost. Everlasting Pain. I have fought till I can fight no more.

"Life's twists and turns have made me learn that fighting is useless when its you against the weight of the world" - self 2006

Oh all you who pass by, look and see if there is any sorrow like my sorrow.

stab

2006-06-20T05:42:00.000+08:00

free fall into eternal autumn
helpless and hopeless
with only myself to blame
and my guilt to prove
this worthless life
fatal combination
leathal consequence
sadness to hurt
hurt to anger
anger to hate
hate to self-destruction.
abrupt
end
stop
dead.
period
period
ahhhhh leave
leave you sorrowful deamon
leaave my soul to breath the air of this world
i want it
i need it
out horrifying beast
leave me

it has left
i am free
free
happy
wait
wait
stop
period
period
period
..

Non-Convert

2006-06-07T06:09:00.000+08:00

To fight the battle of life, hold true to yourself, embrace your being, of course, free from delusion. We live in a world that is constantly trying its utmost best to turn us into a statistic, turn us into everybody else. It is therefore sad that this fight will never end, unless of course the world does. So till then my friends, Fight with conviction, Fight with sprit and Never stop fighting.

In sweat and blood, I surrender

2006-05-28T05:03:00.000+08:00

i have forgotton the sight of sunlight,
the orange burst, the swirls of yellow.
i have forgotton the taste of happiness,
the candid smiles, the unrehearsed laughter.

the darkness has come to claim its prize
i am fearful, i relent
the cold has swept through the land
i am helpless, i succumb

Down the long road, down

2006-05-25T03:42:00.000+08:00

Fading are the bright colours
Their story has been told.
Falling are the lush leaves
They have grown tired and old.

still falling

2006-05-21T03:19:00.000+08:00

falling, the never ending darkness
screams resonating through the silence
like a sharp knife, piercing the clam and tranquilly
to be headed somewhere, destination unclear...
memories flash past like life's final moment
the standstill, macabre but yet, strangely surreal.
paradoxical surrender
there can be no change if you wish to see none.
death's beckon, tempting however cowardly it may seem
but wait, stop thinking, stop this pensive state, halt!!
it is all futile, hopeless
no cognition can save you
because
you are still falling
helplessly falling
painfully falling
into dust.

misplaced rhyme, misplaced life

2006-05-09T00:54:00.000+08:00

Like a flower that did not bloom,
so too has this life of mine been doomed.
Like the sun that did not rise
to brighten up the shrivled rose.

What is left are scraps of flesh,
reminence of a plan that never hashed.
What is left are memories so pain
always lingering like a stain.

This awful rhyme can never tell
my life - its likeness to hell.
This awful rhyme may disgust you so
but it is crucial that you must know.

My story, this is it,
short but not so sweet
Oh can you see this rhyme is getting worse
just like my life, its curse!!

The horrible rhymes serve as a indicator of the poets decent into utter hopelessness.

To My Sweetheart

2006-05-08T02:13:00.000+08:00

Dearest,

I am sorry, these few weeks have been rough. Problems, we've discussed over and over again. Tempers, flared at the very slightest of happenings. There is one thing however that I must make clear, and that is, even through all this strife and hardship, my feelings for you have never changed. Yes, admittedly frustration and angst have shown themselves through my actions, my loss of passion. I assure you, they're ephemeral. I still feel for you as I did, perhaps even more. Understand that I am a perfectionist, and this relationship, which means so much to me, makes me want to do everything in my power to make it a beautiful experience for both you and me. No doubt idealistic, but I try, and I hope, sincerely, that you will too. Many things can be learnt through this if we bother to look closer, look beyond the emotions and focus on the more optimistic side of things. Blessings disguise themselves well, look closer.

Cutting a very long story short, I hope you put up with all the flak that has arisen between us and have hope for better things to come, because as long as love is around, they definitely will.

War Cry

2006-04-15T17:17:00.000+08:00

Attention, legion of opposition
Let me make it known, that today I no longer fight with fear and apprehension
They have left me, I am free.
Come, fierce warriors
Unleash the rampage and chaos that is synonymous with your title
Let be behold your rage and fury.
For you, prancing clowns, will stand no stead against the power which I now hold
My keen blade will show no mercy, it will see not the wounds it inflicts.
My heart is blind, in war, there is no emotion.
Let God, in his might and splendor,
Know that today, not even his intercessions will be heard
That today, I fight till your bloody death!

-self, 2006, in preparation for the coming exams.

beep

2006-04-13T01:23:00.000+08:00

i have once again lapsed, helplessly, into utter depression of soul. though this time, it did not come quite as swiftly and sliently as before. the reason for this hournered visit by an unwelcomed guest as unknown to me as it is to you. however whatever the reason, the intrinsic truth is clear and unrived, depression is depression no matter which way you choose to look at it. somehow there is order in the chaos, consistency in the inconsistency, the cycle of life repeats itself, and who am i but a helpless bystander, affected by its whimsical fancies and impulsive jokes. so buckle down and enjoy the ride, again, and again, and again, aaron.

oh i dont know much but i know i love you

2006-04-07T01:08:00.000+08:00

falling aslumber with tears welled in my eyes, never will i forget this night.
falling aslumber with a heart of distain, never will i forget my plight.
where will this road lead, i wish my dreams will tell.
where do we go, i wish you'd dream as well.

And now presenting...

2006-03-25T03:32:00.000+08:00

I am glad we have come this far towards a destination unclear, unknown. Many events have unfolded in the most memorable of ways, some delicate, some intimate, some borne out of love, but all, unforgettable. It is therefore opportune that I express my sincerest of hopes, hope that we discover what lies ahead with passion and vigor, passion not dampened by any guilt fed, soul tearing tribulation, hope that love and love alone will pull us through the array of tests life has installed.

Thus far, you have given me nothing but happiness, happiness that has stemmed forth from love. It is comical and ironic how love, the sole emotion I once thought capable of debilitating has strengthened me in a multitude of ways. The power of small actions, the God in small things.

My dear, I love you, like I never loved before. Never for one fleeting moment have I regretted doing so, and never I will.

Sealed with a kiss

2006-03-19T04:04:00.000+08:00

All because of you baby, all because of you. Things seem so beautiful, suddenly everything moves in slowmotion. In 30 days you've made me happier then I've felt in the last 5 years, I guess this is it afterall, this is love.

the enemy is drawing close

2006-03-11T12:06:00.000+08:00

rest well my friends, for tomorrow, we fight. the war is drawing near, bring it on, cambridge.

Blank Verse

2006-03-02T01:21:00.000+08:00

Summer has ended, abruptly
Fields of flowers, withered
Endless blue skies, grey
The bitter lapse into eternal depression

Autumn has come, swiftly
Trees shed tears, endlessly
Looming clouds hover, menacingly
At the precipice, there is no escape

Seasons of life, seasons of change
An uncertain cycle oh so strange
But who's to say for better or worse
Your life, your choice, your own blank verse!

empirical understanding

2006-02-24T23:39:00.000+08:00

The intrinsic truth is clear, I am utterly lazy by nature. And now that my life is going fine, it can be no clearer. Gone are the times when I could easily blame all other failing aspects of my life for my inability to focus on priority. What must be done, what must be done?

Sometime soon I would need to use this

2006-02-21T23:38:00.000+08:00

You have brought joy into my life, joy that I could have never experienced alone, after all no man is an island. You have so graciously offered the greatest gift of life, to love and be loved. And for that, no fancy poem or prose, no harmonic song or tune could ever express the depths of thanks I feel.

Just know that you, amongst the drudgery of life, its vexations and sufferings have brought to life the child in me, the innocence and happy go lucky attitude that we all yearn to have. This gift of joy will always remain, and will be a source of eternal strength from which I can harness the courage and determination to live each day as it was meant to be lived.

"It's just like I imagined, blue skies and green medows, the smell of flowers and the sound of flowing water, nature's menifestation of mutual love" -aaron yeo

219

2006-02-19T21:51:00.000+08:00

With you, being happy is the easiest thing I could ever do

Tagatha

2006-02-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

Tagatha in her glory
Encompassing all charm and shine
Well, penned is my life's story
Never will Tagatha be mine

In search for illusion
Reality has thus revealed
Lost in the woods of delusion
Tagatha's heart is firmly sealed

This painful lesson learnt
So begins my ordeal
My heart that has been burnt
Time and tide may never heal

Nation before self

2006-01-28T04:06:00.000+08:00

I have received my enlistment letter, courtesy of MINDEF. Under the enlistment act, all male Singapore citizens and permanent residents are required to register for NATIONAL SERVICE (NS). I would honestly not hesitate ranting in copious, sesquipedalian insults about how I would rather have my manhood grated by a cheese grater then don the military uniform and sink into the never-ending depths of inhumanity. HOWEVER, this is a blog and by doing so I may run the risk at having my national service extended to the confines of prison. I'd rather serve the nation in a field of frenzied insects and bake my skin under the pulsating waves of ultra-violet torture then in a column of concrete not forgetting the risk at an enlarged anus.

So in all honesty I am beaming with excitement, serving my nation is the pride of my life, Majulah Singapura!

Standing out amongst nothingness

2006-01-18T23:27:00.000+08:00

Every ounce of euphoria drained to the very last drop. Parched dry of emotion I am lonely, lonely tonight. To no memory can I draw quaint deliverance. Imagination has seeped through the holes of my broken heart. Thoughts, thoughts that I once harnessed strength and hope from have left me, left me alone to witness the cloak of loneliness descend upon my very soul. Austere roads lie ahead, grey and bleak they seem to call upon my already heaving soul, their seemingly harmonious voices resonate throughout my very being, with every pulse of blood through my veins. And so I trek along the path of solitude, the very path that your love would have shielded me from taking, and even if I were to yield to it’s summon, pain would seem beautiful, as beautiful as the memory of you. With you, loneliness is perfection.

Sacrifice upon the table top

2006-01-01T05:58:00.000+08:00

The sustaining hope was but a dream
Was but a dream, of which is no longer
Passing chances at growth and life(living)
All for a dream's sake.

I raise the white flag of surrender
A torn and broken man, striped of his emotional fortitude
I raise this white flag of surrender
All for a dream's sake

Hush now hush now my aching heart
life will provide, time will heal
the scars that you have bestowed
All for a dream's sake

All but for a unrealised dream's sake..

4 years to a decade

2006-01-01T05:40:00.000+08:00

this new year i am resolute on keeping my resolutions restricted to those that i am resolutely sure i can resolutely keep, hoping that i'd be resolute in doing so.

Poetic Emotion

2005-12-27T14:04:00.000+08:00

"That sometimes, you and me seem to be imagination's greatest work of art" - aaronyeo

55 and counting

2005-12-23T16:13:00.000+08:00

Like the wispering wind it passes
and through the tranquil calm of life we see
fifty five years in a hourglass....

This is the poem i wrote for my mom on her birthday, today, thought i'd share it with those that read my blog, if there are actually any..

Gold Sliver and Bronze

2005-12-21T03:49:00.000+08:00

jealousy carve a hole in my heart
why did you even start
three words you softly mentioned
oh boy did they catch my attention
but a promise you could not keep
sowed seeds of hurt so deep
and now that time has gone
tears still run down my cheek

-- but who's to blame for a love that would not bloom
for the hearts that never played in tune --

Throw in the towel and raise that white flag

2005-12-19T03:31:00.000+08:00

when the going gets tough, and it definately will
when the path you're taking seems severly uphill
when love has gone and friends are scarce
And all you want is a long deep breath
when stress is pressing on you just a bit
Rest your heaving soul, but dont submit!

Quitters never win and winners never quit - ( i forgot who said it )

Only you

2005-12-18T02:42:00.000+08:00

Not in all the glory of the world,
In all its radiant splendor
Can i find the peace that eludes me

Only you
Only you....

Put on those running shoes, buddy!

2005-12-16T03:47:00.000+08:00

perhaps it has struck me a little too late, nevertheless, i have realised. few are able to comprehend the importance next year beckons. admittedly, it is our A level year, and yes we all must strive to uphold the promises we make to ourselves at the start of the year, the promises that we usually fail to advocate. this is but the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

2006 will not only determine the general direction in which our lives are headed but will also determine the person we are to become for the rest of our lives. as commonly heard, who you are at 18, will more or less be who you are at 50. for now, we must strive as hard as we can to forge a great future, one that will allow us to fufil our potential, one that will allow us to return to society what god has given us. for if we dont, we will never rest. 30 years down the line, you will realise that the pain of regret will far surpass the pain of discipline, the pain of upholding our moral fortitude.

so i say, for those who are still contemplating which clubbing party they should attend next week, or which girl they would like to have a fling with, or deliberating over mindless, incongruous gossip, its time to realise that, the future is bleak in indochine.

castles in the air

2005-12-13T04:47:00.000+08:00

If words could sum up this year...

"big dreams entail big action, elseway, dreams they remain" -aaronyeo 2005

Unexpected Visitor

2005-12-08T05:56:00.000+08:00

destiny paid a visit, he was confused
said destiny "she's a mystery"
sadden i asked, "even to you?"
destiny replied "love governs destiny, love governs me!"

Season of my heart

2005-12-06T06:07:00.000+08:00

Once bitten, twice shy
Never again shall love pass by
It is winter in this heart of mine
Oh this cold heart of mine!

The image of your memory lingers
Bittersweet emotion it triggers
Time has however proven victor
In the changing seasons of my heart

So passes the seasons of my heart.....

Good on you, buddie!

2005-12-03T05:54:00.000+08:00

A good friend of mine just got attached, ironically he sees love as a non-existant creation of mankind, done so in order to fuel his very own pleasures, indulge in his very own fantasies. My reply is a uniform "thats because you have not experienced it yet".

We often pose the big question, what is love? To which i firmly believe the answer to be unfanthomable by any human intellect. Grant me this chance at explaining it to the very best of what I believe it to be.

Love is not a feeling, love is not that unsaintly sensation of butterfiles prancing around in your stomach everytime your fortunate(or unfortunate) partner gets close. It is not the constant and ever persistant thought of her(or him) that lingers in your mind. Love is simply, an experience!

-to be continued, i just finished downloading SOMETHINGxxx-

Red's Lesson, No Progression

2005-12-03T05:34:00.000+08:00

In the green garden I strode
looking for life's holy road
amidst the hedges and trees there lay
a bed of roses cloaked in pristine disarray.

Little did I know, life's lesson below
harmonic swirls of crimson and red
masked deadly thorns instead

Oh what a fool I was
To search for life's divine cause
As through the crimson and red I saw
my life, sorrowful as before!

2005-11-29T01:47:00.000+08:00

William Butler Yeats - Brown Penny

I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

One of the most beautiful poems I have come accross, take time to read it through again, slowly like you're talking to someone.

A Nil Reply is Mandatory

2005-11-09T02:29:00.000+08:00

And so I waited for the opportune time to question, hopefully it will not breed misinterpretation. I am confused, and this confusion has engulfed my entity, it has thrown my soul into disarray, it has seen me seething with anger at times, and prancing with joy at others. So what do I expect for an answer?

This is new to me, foreign. And as with all inexperienced individuals, I fumble. There is conflict between thought and instinct, perhaps that is what differentiates us from the animals, the ability to think. But then again, instinct is the essence of life, instinct is fundamental.

Basically I do not exercise control over your thoughts and emotions, and no matter how much I want you to see the way I do, the choice is yours to deliberate upon. There is a rosy picture painted in my head, and perhaps reality has not struck that idealism can never exist in the real world. Am I resigned to live out this fantasy by goading at my imagination, with only thoughts to keep me company, thoughts to provide what no one else can?

I would just like to reiterate that I never felt calm in your presence, I became more self conscious, inhibited, and I still do. Negative as it may seem, I enjoyed every moment of it. I wanted to break through this barrier because deep down I knew that more beautiful days were ahead. Too bad the chance never came. Seeing you recently has made me rethink, perhaps it was never you, perhaps I did not quite have the ability to, as they say “knock you off your feet”.

I am a proud person, crassly. It takes a generous amount of courage for me to run the risk at immense embarrassment. A risk I would gladly take in this case.

Remember, this is not a plea for love, it is a request for a new beginning. So while waiting in climaxing anticipation, I am only left to think, what was, and what will be…

undo the past, redo the present

2005-11-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

Its over and done but the heartache lives on inside...
And whos the one you're clinging too instead of me tonight...

I find romance when i start to dance in boogie wonderland

2005-10-31T02:29:00.000+08:00

Seamless ripples bounded
Violet uncertainty cloud thee
This soul draws close to the invisible line
The line of complexity

Fog amidst the asphalt
Why don’t you see through me?
Secret longings I harbor
For thee my maiden, thou discover

Another day, Just believe.

2005-10-30T04:37:00.000+08:00

To put it simply, I am not disciplined enough to adhere to my own resolutions. Subconsciously resolute to defy resolution. Oh the sweet surrender!

I want a girl
I want a lifeI want a routine
I want to strive
I want stability
I want loveI want to no longer be bound by the vices that keep me in their grasp
I want to live
I want to see life as it should be

Confused and tired, take me, take me to somewhere I've never been, take me to somewhere I can be, who I really want to be.

2005-10-25T03:39:00.000+08:00

hey you

pick up that phone and say what you've always wanted to say

:)

-_- to the game of cat and mouse

2005-10-12T05:27:00.000+08:00

secret signs cloud me
words with hidden meanings behind thee
decipher them not I will
fear of scars, eternally unhealed.

come out of your hiding hole if you will, or live with words only rehearsed over and over in your soul. your fear has stifled you, burden your heaving heart forevermore. Godspeed my friend, for I will tell a tale not of how you died, but of how you lived with a dead heart. not many get to live in paradox, not many can live in contradiction. fear has once again put a chill to your unassuming grace.

I am getting married

2005-10-04T04:58:00.000+08:00

Dear Friends,

All are invited to the wedding of

Mr Aaron Yeo & His beloved

Mike Stacy, Eight pointer, black/blue/yellow/black veeners, Purple heart into pink ivory forarm Custom Pool Cue, together with his Lamborghini Miura SVJ, Old, Sleek and extremely stylish!

Now you guys know what to get for my birthday eh? Miniatures excluded of course.

WHY CANT THIS BIRTHDAY BE THE BIRTHDAY THAT ALLOWS ME TO LEARN TO DRIVE? Ubi driving school, oh sacred place, oh ancient wonder, how I yearn to enter thee, bask in thy glory and feel thy grace overcometh me.

For the first time in my puerile life, I am yearning to sit for a test, ironically, I cant, pfft!! what a bummer eh?

CARS>GIRLS
CARS>SEX
CARS>BEER
CARS=l337!

CARS pwNz j00 ars3 sux0r!

Hormonal Talk

2005-10-02T03:05:00.000+08:00

Ok this is teenage-ish but what the heck.

Girls my age bore me, bore me to the core. I find it hard to find someone I can really sit down with to engage in proper convosation. gah, maybe its just me.

On the other hand, I know of older girls of whom I can relate too very well.. too bad they're too old..

At this age, a 5 year age gap is alot. What a waste ! pffft

Carve out my soul and put it on a platter for luch

2005-09-30T02:55:00.000+08:00

Tell me you've forgotten me, tell me that I don’t even exist as a memory, tell me oh tell me that you reminisce no longer. Tell me so as I may stop telling myself a lie.

I lost my virginity to liquid gold(or not)

2005-09-28T04:33:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my life, I lapsed into a self-induced state of alcoholic high.

And no I am not proud at all. I vow to myself, I will never, never in my god-forsaken life get drunk again. The total abandonment of self control, where you hover in semi-consciousness, like riding a wave of euphoria and sadness simultaneously, it appeals to some, fortunately not to me.

Getting drunk is like sticking your head up an elephant's arse and waiting for it to load you with 20kg of poop. After all, you'd feel comparatively the same way, and not to mention smell the same way too.

In love with thee, my dark lady

2005-09-19T04:28:00.000+08:00

May the dark night watch over me.
May darkness fill me, where light could not.

I am in love with the darkness, I hate mornings, I hate it when the sun rises and the day starts churning.

I like the night, the slient lucidity it brings, the clam, the peace, the tranquility.

For all who are reading this, I might very well get retained after this promos. If you're thinking why its because I havent seen the blue of school in about two weeks. Nor have I touched anything linking me and school.

Its time to find a private school for this lark can no longer live in rigid routine. I hate school not because you have to work but because you cannot work your own way. In singapore, you fit the template, there is no template to fit you. In singapore, you dont own books, books own you. In singapore, the letter A is more important then happiness.

So thats it, my life's sad story. Potential gone down the drain. What more can I say? Sorry to all who have tried to fish me out of this rut, sorry to myself.

This blog is getting more angsty everytime I update, oh wait I forgot this is my blog. I owe no one any explaination.

Ok for the few drifters who actually read this blog, the next time you can contact me, kindly drop me a four-digit number so I can buy 4D. I forgot to mention that it has become a weekly ritual for me to donate to the biggest charity organisation in singapore, Singapore Pools. Ah well, the poor become poorer while the rich become, unfairly, richer.

I need a girl.

heehee

2005-09-14T03:14:00.000+08:00

The madness of my soul, this infinate sadness.
Cannot be conqured by the hatred or power of this world
But by the unity of our hearts.

MINE AND GOD LAH I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH ANYONE.

Repetition, again!

2005-09-14T02:58:00.000+08:00

Longing for hope,
hope like rays of light that shine through the clouds
hope like the fleeting dove taking flight
hope for the darkness to be lifted
hope, amongst the hopelessness.

Journey towards the light
upon this heavy heart
this heaving soul
this saddened face
prelude to death, to life again.

Death brings light
light in the darkness
light in the light
light like we know it not
like in the form of darkness

and so i leave today
saddened, sorrowful and sullen.

titleist

2005-09-08T02:53:00.000+08:00

and now that its all over you still hurt me with every beat of your heart. the thought of you is like a thorn in my flesh.

sorry i am becoming angsty

18 days to the promos and i dont even know where to start. wishing upon some distant power to aid me in this struggle. save yourself my friend, for no one can save me now but god.

slient nights give me the most solitude, i like darkenss, i like the quite.

i need direction, somebody throw me a signboard please.

life sucks, but then again, dont we all like people.. i mean things that suck??

In hell I saw

2005-09-03T13:12:00.000+08:00

Bathed in sunset, hollow silhouette
Plain talk about the nothingness inside
How could I have known
The treachery you condone?

Slient thief in the night
Came and went traceless, traceless
And of all things a thief could steal
A heart of mine so surreal

Walk my way to the end of this play
The acts over, drama queen
Take off your veil and reveal
The thief that you are.

One moments grace

2005-08-27T03:07:00.000+08:00

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste,and remember what peace there may be in silence." - Max Ehrmann

Incomplete desiderata.

Midnight Madness

2005-08-25T02:43:00.000+08:00

And here I stand, on the precipice of defeat. Ironically, defeat not by the hands of some loathsome nemesis, but by myself. That dear voice that allows us to deliberate, to think, to make choices. It sings a sour tune, disharmonic harmony. And as loud as it may resonate, I try with every fleeting drop of strength to turn a deaf ear. May the voice of moral dignity reign loud and crisp.

After many vicissitudes of perceived happiness, I have sunk at last into abject and hopeless poverty of soul. Who can save me now but myself, myself who so savagely self-destructs?

I question you, where is the silver lining, that glimmer through the dark clouds?

I have always seen myself to be different, to think like no other. This I have affirmed myself is not crass ignorance, nor is it arrogance. It is but circumstantial change, forged through the trials that I have, with sustained copious effort, endured. Perhaps I can find the answer then, if I am once again able to cajole that wisdom, hidden deep within.

Event Summation, Random stabbs at poetic genius

2005-08-21T03:06:00.000+08:00

I have learnt of course that the flames of infatuation can rapidly become ashes of enmity and contempt.

I have learnt that dilatory work results in hours of burdensom guilt and the resulting painful consumption of your very zest to partake in any other daily activity. This, not surprisingly has led to a litany of unfinished tasks, of which my very duty as a son, student and person requires me to mandatorily fufil.

I have learnt that the ephemeral fits of increased vigor and enthusiasm last only to create contemptous hatred towards the general idea of work.

BUT

I know that these baseless rantings are but another sordid attempt at flaunting my atrocious use of the english language. Well i am just trying to learn ok?!

Till then, may you have faith in the good Lord to bring you through all your times of hardship and pain, for trust in the all logic defying happenings of this world might very well win you a nobel prize.

Battle Plan No 1052.

2005-08-10T02:22:00.000+08:00

This is it. The battle plan, the plan that would win the war. Foolproof and intricate, failure is not a consideration.

WHO AM I KIDDING?

I used to think that planning would work, I have since eschewed it as inefficacious.

The somniferous lectures, the maladroit workings of school, coupled with utter sloth. This lethal combination would be the death of me. This is the spade that digs my grave.

The talent is in the choices aaron. Strive for a better day. Fear not the hard work, the momentary absence of amusement. For victory is sweet, the honey of honeys, the sugar of sugars.

As in the wise words of rockson, lan cheow ok?

Three to trouble

2005-07-31T01:16:00.000+08:00

For self this life I told
three things to thine uphold
Honour thy life thy love
and merry as prancing doves
exhault to skies above
Desire for zest and passion
to this shall bring progression
and all will fall in session
Love for nature and pasture
and love shall return with lustre
in harmony strength will musture.
Three things my friend I say
keep close to heart you may
and through all time all day
happiness will keep you at bay!

took me 5 mins during econs lecture so dont blame the stupid quailty.

Back In Black! (and white)

2005-07-27T15:10:00.000+08:00

ROCKSON.BLOGSPOT.COM

Electronic Essays & Escapades

2005-07-19T22:41:00.000+08:00

It has ended, the time has come to start a new chapter. I feel better now, less burdened. Time to see the dawning of a new tomorrow, the end of this forgone failure.

this blog shall take a well deserved reprive-

If you ever read this

2005-07-18T21:41:00.000+08:00

sorry, i can no longer sustain surpression i must let go. things must be at the extremes for this time, friends just cant cut it. sorry i will fade, and soon everything would be just another memory, another passing phase. it is in my own to put a stop to what you started.
i am happy and i know you would be too, one less thing to bother you, one less thing to handle in your already packed life. you may think this is sudden but believe me, hormones are quite the plodders, they never stop working.
time will heal, please dont keal, your strength will serve, to calm your battered nerves.

Black & White, Time & Tide

2005-07-14T00:34:00.000+08:00

To fight the battle of life, one must embrace his own weakness with humility and strive to break the chain of vulnerability that so firmly hinders progress towards perfection. Idealistic as this may sound, there is much truth in it. For some however, life is a neverending game of deception, self deception. We cascade into self pity, basking in the sea of denial, seeaking solace in the mear attributes that weaken, indulging in the very vices that are responsible for humanities downfall.

-contd later on i wanna sing a song, for love has left and joy has lept into the very depth of my own-

about you

2005-07-13T13:44:00.000+08:00

My words are welled, this jar of slient screams go unheard through the night, this placid formality. Break away from hope, hope for better things to come because only sadness beckons, this is surreal sorrow at its finest.

The Red Room Of Rhyme

2005-07-11T00:02:00.000+08:00

1)
As if by gods unkind breath
zest has left me to death
and through this utter depression you will see
the sorrowful hateful me

2)
dark night of my soul
when will thee cease
radient light and warming grace
fall softly into my embrace

2005-07-08T00:56:00.000+08:00

The ever pernicious chinese has once more stuck its thumb straight up my arse. I mean although the chinese were a bunch of smart people, who the hell communicates by drawing pictures?

- i have lost zeal for blogging, but not to worry, after i drink some passionfruit juice i will once again come down hard on the black contraption of which i rest my fingers on -

Contd.

2005-07-04T18:53:00.000+08:00

aaron gomez : thank you for making CJ the place it is. you have brought me the fun and laughter to get through the days in school. i hope you balance soccer and studies and Lin__ ok, remember the notice on the soccer board eh? i dont want to get to J2 missing a great friend.

don : my fellow econs detainee. i will always remeber you because you were the 1st person to talk to me when in stepped into T19, always friendly always laughing. don remember the promise we made to each other, we'll show the class during the promos eh! all you need is self confidence don, because you never stop putting yourself down, well take it from me, you can achieve much more then you think you can.

In need and deed

2005-07-03T04:26:00.000+08:00

Just met up with an ol pal 'o mine zong hao. Cheers to the good old days mate, you'll always know I am here whenever you need me.

I dont feel like writing copiously nor extravagantly now since this entry is dedicated to all my friends and i would thus like to adopt a more personal tone, heres to name a few that have made a great impact in my life, thank you guys for the times of fun as well as hardship, all the complaining about exams and the rejoycing that comes after, the wollowing about lost relationships and the excitment that comes when theres someone new. The numerous arguements over which movie to watch and pretty much everything that we've gone through together.

This is in no Order.

Ian - I've known you for 5 years now and our friendship has taken many unexpected turns. My writing this is however testiment to the not so obvious care we have for each other. I am glad that you are focused on life now and have much more determination to do well. What say cigars and a cup of wiskey sometime soon eh?

Gabriel & Ashley - Beer buddies or perhaps water buddies after yesterday (ash???), you make me high just like beer does! I shant write too much because you might get drunk with gratitude. For the others out there, we have our beer in moderation and never get drunk, beer just acctuates the upkempt fun we have around each other.

Solikin - You're as round as cueball, perhaps less spotted though. Solikin will FOLLOW you in times of need and DRAW you out of your misery. He'll put aside(ing) his plans just to help you out. Thank for for the countless hours of hearing me complain and being able to put up with all my nonsense. You've always been a loyal friend and one with no malice harboured. See you next saturday for a R52t5 on table 1052 yeah?

Jie Lun - MSNBDB! Jie lun is a gentle giant! -nuff said-

Nick - Part of the Troublesom trio in 406. You're probally the most innocent person i know and you're incapable of hurting anybody. Please do remember however that the world is not such a nice place and becareful of its deciet. I know times have been rough for you in RJC but always remember keep your faith and you'd pull through anything. Till then, you still owe me the photos by carl.

Zong Hao - What can i say man, for two years i sat beside this guy in class, which definately explains my preposterous grades. Zong Hao , thank you for making 406 what it was, you penned a whole new chapter in my life and i am utterly greatful for the lessons i've learnt. i'll always remember the times that were special to you and me ( NOT IN A GAY WAY ), our butterfly garden and missiles ^^. i hope that you settle down to studies in SAJC because i know right now you probally live with hormones taking the place of blood, so till then, keep it real man

Bose - Although we dont hang out as much as we used to, I am pretty sure somehow we're as close as we used to be. Jonathan, please settle down to things because i know you have great potential to do many things in life, things that you'd be remembered for all you need is a tinch of self-confidence. so remember i am always here if you need me, and in CJ you can always find me in the canteen! lunch date soon?

- I WILL CONTINUE SOON ENOUGH ITS SODDING 5 AM NOW-

Life's brutality penned

2005-06-29T03:41:00.000+08:00

The sudden cessation of feelings, the outburst of black when light no longer lingers. The iciness, the empty void of loss which can be compared to no earthly sensation better then a smoker deprived of his nicotine rush, cold turkey for the soul. It feels like your very existence is no longer warrented, the sinking of the heart into the very depths of unfeeling mortality, where no imagination can prevail, no hope sustained. This has been my truth. I tell you solemly, long expunged from my mind are the memories of happiness, to which I draw no familarity, no quaint deliverance. My inner santum is left ironically parched of any santification for life.

ah such a junoesque life, for my perspective has turned anguish into happiness, because only then am i able to wake to the dawning of a new tomorrow, the bitter lapse into everyday monotony.

multitudes of thanks for your attention, there you have it, a fraction of your sorry life gone trying to comprehend my linguistic decadence of suffering, this is but angst that will never relinquish its vehement stronghold in my soul.

- ok sorry lah i feel this way dun angry kaez heheX- ( i just had to do that )

School Has Commenced.

2005-06-25T14:20:00.000+08:00

the morning tide resides
like clockwork the world churns
life has once more set in motion
a chain of desrupted commotion.

judgement term to all, go with strength yet ease, go with faith yet doubt. for this is but a small step in life, small and minute. burden your soul not for greater worries shall beckon, worries on life and love.

Perception

2005-06-24T05:33:00.000+08:00

I say, all things in life are viewed in perception, there can be no right or wrong, no truth or lie. For what we see may not be what others see, the truth to us may be a lie to them. What then defines truth, what then is right?

We say for example that a blind man is deprived of sight because we know what sight is. This knowing is but the truth that we see it, it is however a lie for the blind man.

Conversly by believing so, we then are able to proclaim that all our actions are right and true, because we view them to be. This is however ludicrous.

The world that we live in is kept in check by a set of more commonly known truths, this can be then related to the aforementioned "sight". Therefore, as blind as you are, you must see in order to lead an existence in this life.

- once again this is abrupt and ill-thought, i have lost passion for blogging due to the fact that my first reckoning in JC life is round the corner, pray to the good lord that the trials would once again go in my favour-

In search till the end

2005-06-21T04:59:00.000+08:00

Human existence. Mundane and repetetive. With each sunrise we awake to the sorry stench of the world's workings, we task about our daily routine like robots with emotion. What compels us to drown our bodies and souls in such ideosyncracies? To where are we headed, to what are we striving for? Happiness, for happiness brings peace, happiness is success, happiness is ideal life.

- will continue sometime on, too emotionally and physically drained to engage in a fury of key pressing-

Hello Back

2005-06-19T17:10:00.000+08:00

dear stranger when we meet
by chance so much as loves great feat
upon a star i wish we'll be
euphoria spent dont disagree

leave me now so love detest
brood too much and you'll be stressed
for love has come and love has gone
hopes get high with each new dawn

the morning star shines so bright
for something good stirs tonight
has love's great gift come again
or has my mind been put through strain

aaron yeo

this is the first light hearted nonsensical RHYMING poem i've written and i am damm proud ok!

DISCLAIMER Part II, inspired optimism

2005-06-17T18:08:00.000+08:00

If you find yourself head over heels with someone who is unable to reciprocate, take heed and move on. Be not too harsh on yourself for love may not have touched that person as greatly as it did you.

If someone else falls into love's great swirl over you, and you find that this time you'd rather stay rooted, be gracious and refuse. Never lead the person on and accept the gift that you are unable to return for that is deciet in itself.

Keep always in mind that love chooses to reside in your heart, you do not choose love. Accept it with open arms and let it take its own destined course. Return it to the person that sparked its emergence. Give it to all around you, and you'll find that what goes around comes around.

When you've learnt love's devine lesson, and it chooses to part, be not angered or anguished for the lesson learnt will allow you to once again rekindle its warming spirit.

Deny not love for denying love is denying life. Fear not the momentary pain when love leaves as pain will exponentially increase yourhappiness when happiness comes.

Remember this and keep it close at heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and it's own reasons for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you.

Extremely Edited version of something i found quite a while back, holds the same meaning.

The Rock

2005-06-17T03:05:00.000+08:00

Too many have traversed the boundless and trecherous road of self pity. Today, I shall stand firm, today I shall strip myself of emotion and harden my soul, for I am no longer weak, I am no longer feeling.

Emotion however is sustenance. For without emotion we are just empty shells. We cannot discard emotion and try as I may impending emotion is inefficacious. However there always beckons the scarce possibility for us to be able to go through a process called selective feeling. By this I mean we filter out the emotions that hamper and allow those that empower. No doubt difficult, attaining this would mean hopping on a higer pedestal then present human life, it would have sparked another stage in evolution. For now, this impossibility is my goal, just like whoever said the wright brothers would never fly, dont be ignorant fools.

Emotion is powerful, and all life is centered around it. It is the differentiating factor that makes us different from all other animals because it allows us to think. Therefore emotion governs life. Thus being able to take hold and directionalize emotion, we are able to control life.

I will be stronger then all who feel, I abdicate myself from the human race. I am no longer homosapien but

unemosapien!

DISCLAIMER

2005-06-16T16:56:00.000+08:00

TO ALL LOVERS:

This is my humble advice, this is wisdom inspired by suffering. Love may come to you in a resplendent display of light, but therein lies the danger. When that radient light dies out, when love no longer lingers, you are left lost and alone. It will avulse all your happy memories and leave you with an endless void. Beware for you trek into uncharted territory defenceless. Keep always in mind the danger beneath happiness.

Love is an idealistic hope that we all habour in our hearts, bearing in mind that all good things must come to an end, why then do we go searching for something that we know will never last?
To this I say, although love may never last, the lesson learnt will. We become stronger, we learn to deal with people and these are essential skills that allow us to survive in this harsh reality called the world.

Optimism is good, but not ignorance. For cautious love is wise, but foolish love is true. True love however is rare, and when true love ends, because all things will then the you will come to the realisation that the person that can make you the happiest can also become your antagonist.

You may have realised that the latter part of this "essay" was the total antithesis to the beginning. Somehow, it serves as pure testiment to the fact that love is confusing, love is blind. So may you lucky ones walk along love's arduous journey unscathed, and for those not so lucky, well, good luck.

scarlet agony

2005-06-14T02:15:00.000+08:00

solitary wing admist orange
scattered siluette and ruffled hair
my heart beats to the creaking of the wood
yearing for your settling presence.

red skies shine no longer
shattered dreams and blind thoughts
i knew not nor could name
tame the beast in my lonesome heart.

aaron yeo

epiphany

2005-06-13T15:45:00.000+08:00

en voyage through the June holidays and I already feel that it has come to its cessation. Perhaps it is concrete testiment to that fact that waiting for school to start draws its parallels with sitting in death row. No, its not because the fun is ending, it is not because the nights of pure hedonism can no longer be a part of my already euphoria parched life.

Now i say, Please put your hands together for the most flagitious, most vile, most pernicious bane to our lives,

HUA WEN